Corn Commentary

Kill the Corn

For those who have a hard time grasping sarcasm, yesterday’s column in the Chicago Tribune by humor columnist Mark Bazer is supposed to be FUNNY.

Bazer’s “I have seen the enemy-and its name is corn” is making light of the attacks on corn and ethanol. It is important to explain this because what he says is not a whole lot different than some of the things that are seriously being said about corn and ethanol. He’s just trying to make it amusing.

If total acreage for corn were to reach the 100 million mark in 2008, it would necessitate that many of the places we now take for granted as corn-free zones become crammed with rows and rows of stalks: doctors’ waiting rooms, National League ballparks, ballet studios, Lower Wacker.

But it’s not too late to do something. Our fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers fought in two world wars for this great country or immigrated here after those wars. Now it’s up to us. We must destroy the corn!

It would be funnier if there weren’t people who actually think this way.