Beware the Salt Police

“Salt is not good for you, hence, it is illegal.” Demolition Man

When Sylvester Stallone’s character in the movie “Demolition Man” is reanimated in the year 2032 after being in suspended animation for 36 years, he finds a world where anything “not good for you” is deemed “bad” and therefore illegal, including “alcohol, caffeine, contact sports, non-educational toys, meat, spicy and unhealthy food, table salt and tobacco.” We are definitely heading in that direction.

The National Salt Reduction Initiative has been making headlines this week as 16 companies pledged to cut salt in their products as part of the effort that started last year in New York City. The companies include major powerhouses like Heinz, Kraft and Starbucks. Even Mayor Bloomberg who started this campaign has admitted that he likes salt. “I put salt on my popcorn — as a matter of fact, popcorn without salt is not popcorn,” Bloomberg is quoted as saying. But, apparently that’s okay. It’s the salt that is used as a preservative or for leavening that is bad for you – still legal at the moment, but bad enough that we have to have a nationwide salt reduction initiative to combat it.

Does this mean that somewhere in our future there will be a Salt Czar to fight against sodium abuse? I think the head of the underground, anti-culture group in Demolition Man speaks for many of us who are against the nanny state deciding what is “bad” for us:

“I’m the enemy, ’cause I like to think; I like to read. I’m into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I’m the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, “Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?” I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-o all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I’ve SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It’s a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing “I’m an Oscar Meyer Wiener.”

Scary thought, isn’t it? But then, so is some guy running naked through the streets naked with green Jello all over his body. I can understand where that would probably be bad – and hence, illegal.